If you aren’t into trekking, have no desire to risk attempting to cross into Burma, just so that you can say you did, and have already experienced the wonders and smells of riding an elephant, what is there to do in Northern Thailand? Go shopping in Chiang Mai.

Now this city has taken this pastime to new heights with its miles long night market, or night bazaar. But shopping is not just a nocturnal desire. What about spending cash during the day? Chiang Mai’s answer is the handicraft tour, a predecessor to America’s outlet malls.

Strung out over several miles of road heading out of town (with a competing road trying to get in on the action) back when this idea first came about the original outing took you to various villages each specializing in a specific craft (wood carving, paper making, etc.) where you could watch the craftspeople work and could buy their products cheaper than in town and much cheaper than in Bangkok. Cut out the middle man as it were.

Now, much like where the American outlet malls used to promise cut rate pricing but now offer prices sometimes higher than in their regular stores, Chiang Mai’s craft villages have become factories selling goods at over inflated prices. Still a fair way to kill off some daytime hours, but the villages have been replaced with large showrooms, a preponderance of which are silk and gem stores. You get there by signing up for a tour (guess this is the option that allows you to be overcharged even before you leave your hotel) or by negotiating with a cab driver . . . anyone on the street will do . . . and for 200 baht or less for half a day of travel you’ll be taken to that tour operator or taxi driver’s best places - those that pay them the best for bringing you in. So keep in mind that the nice tour operator or taxi driver is really a tout and is making more from delivering you to select destinations than he or she is from you as a paying customer. If you really want to make their day, buy something . . . they’ll get a commission off of the sale.

When you visit a factory/showroom you’re driven to the entrance area where a bevy of women in traditional dress await. One will greet you and ask where you are from. This is to ensure the woman assigned to accompany you speaks your language (so that you can speak their’s: cash). Often you will be offered something to drink, nice in the hot climate. Next you get a quick tour of the factory operation where underpaid locals work as craftspeople producing the goods (well, some of them) available in the showroom.

This can actually be interesting as production is fairly primitive relying on human labor rather than machines. At one gem showroom specializing in jade I learned that when buyers purchase their jade from Burma, an inch wide by half inch gash is cut into the rough, unfinished jade rock which is somewhere between the size of a football and a basketball. This small cut of an interior view is all the buyer has to go on in determining which he will buy and at what price. When he gets back to the factory in Thailand, the rock is cut open to see what types of jade and which types are inside An iffy proposition as there are different grades and colors of Jade each worth different amounts. Imperial jade, which is a bright lime green color, and lavender jade are the most rare and expensive. Darker green and brown are the cheaper stuff.

After the factory tour you are handed off to another woman in the showroom who will follow you nonstop and suggest various items whenever you pause, whether you are interested in something or just catching your breath.

A typical gem showroom is about half the size of a Wallmart. Silk places are not much smaller. Silver places are generally not as grand and lacquerware showrooms are smaller yet. Size must be dictated by value of what is being sold.

Unless you see something really unique that you just can’t live without (and therefore are willing to pay twice what it is worth) do not make any purchases at these places. Note anything you like and watch for it a half the price at the Night Bazaar.

The umbrella village Borang is a bit more fun as you get to watch the women making the umbrellas and can talk with them. The selling techniques are more gentle here, too. But before you buy something, consider just what it is you plan on doing with a large paper umbrella once you haul it all the way home.

You half day tour, if by taxi, will probably stretch well into the afternoon, especially if you are spending money. If not it’ll be a shorter trip but your driver will take you to more mini-factories to make up for your lack of spending by volume of places he takes you to. When you get back to your hotel the driver will suggest doing the same again the next day promising new and better places with better prices. I get a kick out of the act they all do: now he understands that you are looking for real deals and so will need another day to take you to the real finds. And he’ll make this offer everyday, no matter how many days you go with him!

Meanwhile, that 850 baht silk scarf you ended up buying on your tour because it was such a great factory special price? You’ll see the exact same one at a stall at the night market offered at an asking price of 300 baht. You probably won’t bother bartering to see how low of a price you could have got it for (100 baht), it’d just hurt too much and besides, you’ve already signed up for another half day craft village tour for tomorrow.

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