Bali Revisited
Or,
Even The Animals Are Thieves!

If you missed my previous entry about Bali . . . well, it was a bit negative. My total disappointment with the magical island was due to preconceived ideas, none of which were met. But after a few years I decided to give it another try, only this time I’d land with a much better idea of what to expect, and hopefully, be much more pleased with my trip.

Having a better idea of the various areas of the island, this time I booked a hotel in the Legian area. A bit out of the touristy and crowded Kuta region, but just a bit. The hotel, Club Bali, was situated in a large compound on the beach (which is Balinese for across the street from the beach because no one is actually allowed to build on the beach). Nice. A one bedroom apartment for $75 a night. And I won’t even bitch about the lack of internet service (that was promised on their website). See what a healthy attitude will do for you?

Now on my previous visit I’d been ripped off exchanging money even after having read all the warnings about this common occurrence. So I was much more watchful this time around. And got ripped off again. But my new attitude allowed for that and I even admired the friggin’ thief’s skill at palming bills as he counted out my cash. What I did learn though is that if you walk around looking for the best rate of exchange, the place you find will be one geared to ripping you off (that’s why they can afford the higher exchange rate). Lesson learned, I exchanged my cash from then on at a reputable exchange shop that was nicely staffed and heavily patronized by the local merchants.

I walk a lot when I travel. It’s a great way to see the sights, meet locals, and meander through the streets. My previous trip report detailed the constant ‘Transport’ come on you’ll experience should you decide to walk the streets of Kuta. Well, Legian is different. Yep, you still get the ’transport’ crap from every other person you pass or who passes you. But you also get a new cry: Massage!. Now coming from the girls sitting in front of massage parlors, well it’s SE Asia, what’d you expect? But when it also starts coming from motorbikes? Women (usually fat and ugly) pull up next to you non-stop and offer, ‘Massage’. Followed by, “My room”. I think that’s their sly way of offering a bit more than a massage. The guys pulling up start off the same, but quickly follow with, “Young girl” and then if ignored, “Young Boy”. So I’ve amended my claim that everyone in Bali is a thief, to everyone in Bali is a thief, pimp, or whore.

And that includes our distant cousins . . . I hired a driver to go see some of the outlying sights among which was Uluwatu, a temple perched along jagged cliffs above the sea. As I got out of the van at the temple, the driver warned me to take off my glasses . . . “Monkeys”, he said.

OK, I thought, this should be fun. Well the guy collecting admission fees (in addition to giving me a purple sash I had to wear while on the temple grounds) also warned me to remove my glasses and anything shiny as the area was filled with monkeys who would grab anything that gleamed. Right. Well, I’m blind without my glasses so I bravely walked on until I saw the first group of monkeys. Attacking a group of tourists. No, really. Lucky for them, they’d hired a guide who made good use of one of the bamboo poles stacked to the side of the pathway. Whack! Monkey screeches and backs away.

So of course I armed myself, and then bravely scurried to unofficially join the protected group. The guide didn’t seem to mind and even took a minute to explain the whole ‘glasses thing. Yes, the monkeys do grab glasses. But they will give them back. To the temple guards. After you’ve ‘tipped’ the guards to get them for you. Welcome to paradise.

Assured there were no monkeys at the next temple, we then headed off to Tanah Lot. This is a picturesque temple built on a small island a few hundred yards off the coast. I went during the day as I’d read a sunset visit while beautiful also meant you’d share that experience with a few thousand of your fellow touri. And I’d read that there were many souvenir stands surrounding the parking lot, but so what, those I could avoid. Right. Forgot this was Bali. ‘Surrounding’ is a bit of a misnomer. Try encapsulating. After you pay your admission, you walk a good ten minutes through row after row of souvenir stands which finally quit just before the steps leading down to the beach area where the temple is. (Oh, and on your way back . . different path and another few hundred stands). OK, so the temple was cool. But even then, as with most temples in Bali, you can not go inside so you’re paying for a sneak peak at the outside of the temple.

But new attitude! I let it all wash off. Kinda. So let me finish this tale with some positive points:
Um, ok, give me a minute . . .
Bali is cheap. Incredibly cheap. Even if you are not a cheapskate, it’s cheap. Food at restaurants will run you just a buck or two at breakfast and lunch and you can eat beachside for dinner for under $20. I hired a tour guide/driver and private car for $30 a day. Even the money the exchange guys rip you off for only totals up to a few dollars (the normal exchange rate on this trip was 11,050 to the US$). Souvenirs? Geesh, a sarong can be had for as little as $2. T shirts for about $3. And I found a great cheeseburger place in Kuta (for after those long nights of drinking) that only charged $1.50.

And Bali really is picturesque. There are photo ops every few steps. And I met a few locals who were truly decent people and unbelievably sweet (and in their defense, they readily admit to the rip-offs and crime, blaming it on all the other Indonesians who have moved to Bali). One local who accompanied me on a trip to buy silver explained how the shops give a cut (which you are charged for) to any local who brings them a customer, a payoff he declined, telling the clerks to give me the best price instead.

So, OK. Maybe not everyone in Bali is a thief. And, I will return. The beaches are incredible, the food fantastic, and what the hell, I’m a rich American, I can afford to get ripped off a bit!

Mosey On Back . . .

Entrance To The Rabbit Hole . . .

SIGHTS OF:

Bali